So Let Me Get This Straight

Republican candidates for President should:

1) surrender all privacy and that of their families.

2) have never committed a single sin or had a single infraction that might have resulted in legal proceedings.

3) not smoke, drink, have been divorced, have converted to any religion other than athiesm, or held an office that is from a red or southern state

4) never hold a position that is consistent with their religious beliefs and publically state it as such.

5) never make any money or have inherrited it or have married into it.

6) have never held a political office in which they attempted to follow their political leanings.

7) not make negative campaign ads.

8) not receive money from anyone the left dislikes.

9) absolutely never be pro-life in any circumstance.

10) not want to lower taxes.

11) not disagree with democrats on any subject.

12) not have anyone agree with them if they fail to follow step 11.

13) not refuse to let their children or wife be examined with a fine tooth comb, microscope and be destroyed, mocked, belittled and threatened.

14) not dare to speak against existing regime or democrats or mock their ideas.

15) never decide to run.

Just so we’re clear.  No candidate with an “R” need even apply.  If you do, we might consider that we don’t really need elections because the right sort of people might not win and then the Utopia that is just around the corner if we pass every policy, wouldn’t happen.

 

Tune in next week when we consider the time honored question: Republicans: Dead or Extinct? Which does the Liberal Media prefer?