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  • just a conservative girl 5:26 PM on 02/24/2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , duke university, , sex addiction, wolf   

    Don’t Shame Me For My Porn Career – I’m Paying for College 

    A student known only as Lauren (not her real name) is a porn star and student at Duke University.  She uses the proceeds of her career choice to pay tuition.  She believes that she will leave Duke University with a good education, ready for law school, and be debt free.  Good for her on being debt free.

    The problem has become that someone on campus saw on of her “films” and has outed her as a porn star.  She feels she is now being bullied for her choice.  She tried waitressing, but apparently that didn’t work out as well for her:

    “I worked as a waitress as a job for a year in high school,” Lauren told Duke’s student newspaper, The Chronicle. “Not only did it interfere with my school where I was barely sleeping and wasn’t doing my work, but I also was making $400 a month after taxes.”

    She also found working as a waitress humiliating.

    “I felt like I was being degraded and treated like s***,” Lauren said.

    I don’t know, I managed to waitress/bartend my way through college and never felt degraded.  Where are going as a society that a college freshman feels that being a waitress is more demeaning that taking your clothes off for a rough sex porn site?  That is the better alternative?  

    “For me, shooting pornography brings me unimaginable joy. When I finish a scene, I know that I have done so and completed an honest day’s work. It is my artistic outlet, my love, my happiness, my home,”

    How often is she tested for STD’s?  That is something that you don’t need to take into consideration when you are working as a waitress.  At least that was not my experience.

    Sexually transmitted diseases are highly prevalent in the pornography industry. Among 825 porn performers screened in 2000–2001, 7.7% of females and 5.5% of males had Chlamydia and 2% overall had gonorrhea. Dr. Sharon Mitchell confirms the STD prevalence in an interview with Court TV, in which she states: “66% of porn performers have Herpes, 12-28% have sexually transmitted diseases and 7% have HIV.”

    Well if that isn’t something that should bring joy to your life, I don’t know what is.  Oh, but it gets better.  This from a male porn star:

    “Drugs are a major, major problem in my business. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. I can’t tell you the number of girls who have disappeared and dropped out of the business because of their drug problems. It is unbelievably sad to think about, and seeing some of them fall into a downward spiral hurts me more than others. But I think we all can agree that a huge majority of drug users will never change unless they get professional help. I have seen all manner of drugs on set, at parties, in cars, everywhere. If I had to guess, I would put marijuana use at 90 percent of ALL people involved in the industry (performers, directors, crew, agents, drivers, owners, office workers, etc.). I have been on a set where a girl has passed out during a sex scene with me (she was abusing oxycontin). Just recently a girl overdosed on GHB (a party drug that is a clear odorless drug that doesn’t mix well with alcohol) on set. I have seen a girl win a prestigious AVN Award, not show up to accept the award, and then fall into the throes of drug use that caused her to lose at least 50 pounds and drop off the face of the earth. Why is drug use so prevalent in our business? Well, let’s figure that out. First of all, remember that the business is populated largely with girls aged 18-21. And the majority of those girls are uneducated (many haven’t graduated high school). Add to that the fact that many come into the business because they have no money and are working at menial jobs like fast food places. So you have young girls who are uneducated with very little money entering the business.

    We can now move onto the violence in the industry.  Now, I have never seen a porn film, but I would assume that most of the violence is generated towards women.

    Former pornographic performer Alex Devine shares her violent experience and writes:

    “Donkey Punch was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out of my memory due to the severe abuse I received during the filming. The guy, Steve French, has a natural hatred towards women in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than EVER needed. I agreed to do the scene thinking it was less beating, except the ‘punch’ in the head. If you noticed, Steve had worn his solid gold ring the entire time, and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.”

    There is a very heavy emphasis on rougher, more sadistic sex, with slapping, spitting, violent hair-pulling and scenes of extremely abusive hardcore sex acts. In one film, the man forces the woman’s head into a toilet during the final scene, a technique that seems to help him achieve climax.

    Just lovely.

    From Australia:

    A recent University of Sydney study, in which two professors surveyed more than 800 men, found that excessive porn consumption was reported by almost half the respondents (85 per cent of whom were married or in a relationship), and was harming their professional success and relationships.

    The numbers were dramatic: 47  per cent of the male subjects watched between 30 minutes to three hours of porn per day, one in three said it harmed their work efforts, and one in five would rather watch porn than have sex with their partners.

    So Lauren, do you still want to believe that you are just being free and enjoying your “kink”?  What you are doing is adding to the misery of people all over the world.  You are complaisant in the act.  She says she doesn’t like the whole virgin/whore dichotomy that goes on at Duke University.  Ok, that may very well be a problem.  But is men viewing the violent nature porn that you star in helping with that?  I have this feeling it is actually adding to it, not solving the problem.

    From feminist Naomi Wolf:

    Young women tell me that hair-pulling, and even pressure around the neck at orgasm, are normal parts of courtship sex these days. These are ‘porn cliches’, as one young woman put it. I am not surprised by these shifts because  we all know about the pornification of society.

    I believe more voices would be speaking out if the new research on this issue were better understood. What we’re not being told – and this is a view which many scientists now confirm, but too few ordinary people understand – is that porn use poses health problems.

    Porn actually promotes the notion that women are sex objects.  It doesn’t cure it.  Your little money-making venture dear Lauren is robbing more and more young women of real experiences of what sex should really be about.  Two people coming together to enjoy each other.  Instead, we now have a generation of people who don’t see mystery in sex.  They don’t see it as something that is to be enjoyed between two consenting adults in a relationship based on mutual love and respect, but nothing more than scratching an itch.

    Lauren was also upset by the one of the papers who interviewed her noticing that she had a very expensive designer handbag as part of her new-found riches from her job.  Yes, she may be making good money.  Yes, she may graduate law school debt free (her career goal after getting a pre-law degree from Duke).  Yes, she is far from the only one who has chosen this path in order to pay the bills during college.  But, don’t be surprised years from now that you can’t have children due to the STD’s you received.  Don’t be surprised that many a decent man will not be willing to marry or raise a child with someone with this past.  Don’t be surprised if you fall into a deep depression when you a woman tells you how your films shattered her marriage.  Remember Christie Brinkley’s very public divorce?  Someone was starring in those porn films her ex-husband was watching.

    You keep doing what you’re doing because you don’t want to demeaned by being a waitress.  It is really not that big of a deal.  The “bullying” is really the least of the issues your career choice will bring to your life.

    • Alex 5:40 PM on 02/24/2014 Permalink | Reply

      She’s happy, and I won’t be paying for her collage….. I’m fine with it

      • just a conservative girl 6:09 PM on 02/24/2014 Permalink | Reply

        Duke is private university, you were never going to be paying for her education.

    • beyondhissexaddiction 2:17 PM on 03/03/2014 Permalink | Reply

      Awesome analysis- I couldn’t agree more.

  • just a conservative girl 7:20 AM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , huma, , power hungry, sex addiction,   

    Huma, The Enabler, Stands By Her Man 

    Apparently Anthony Weiner has not cured his fetish of sending pictures of his penis to women he doesn’t know. Knowing this information he and his wife Huma decided to the enter the race for the democratic primary in the New York City Mayoral race. It is pretty much a given whomever the democratic candidate for mayor is, wins the election.  There are notable exceptions, but not many.

    Yesterday during a press conference Weiner’s wife Huma not only decided to stand by her man, but also spoke. She talked about how hard it was on her marriage, how they have gone to therapy to deal with their problems, but she has been able to forgive him, for herself, for him, and their son. Well how nice for her. I am not going to sit in judgement of someone else’s marriage. She wants to stay with a man who was having phone sex with another woman while she was taking care of infant, that is her choice. It isn’t a choice that I would make, but hey to each their own.

    During her press conference yesterday she also talked about how they discussed these issues before making the decision.  You decided to go ahead anyway even when you knew that the public wasn’t aware of the latest of his phone pals?  Did she think it wouldn’t come out or did she just not care?  I suppose all this negative press that her son will one day have access to doesn’t matter.  What kind of mother wants her child to read those kinds of stories about their father?  I know I sure wouldn’t.  This man has some deep psychiatric problems.  I don’t think anyone can deny that at this point.  I am not a big believer in the label of sex addict, but in this case it just may fit.

    She also stood up in front of the press, and the entire country for that matter, and talked about how this happened “to them”.  No, sweetie, this isn’t something that happened to you.  This is something that you and your husband brought onto yourselves.  No one forced you two to enter the race.  It is not like their aren’t other people running in the primary.  No one was beating down your doors on bended knee begging you to come and save New York City because no other qualified democrat was wiling to take on the job.

    This is about two people who are so hungry for power and prestige that they will willingly throw away their pride and dignity to achieve it.  A man who can’t control his urges and then so easily lies about those urges cannot be trusted.  He is also putting himself in the position to blackmailed.  How exactly is this the right thing for New Yorkers?  It also goes to show how little they think of the voting public.  You are so stupid that you can’t see for yourselves that this man is not qualified to hold public office.  You will just buy into the rhetoric that they are fighting for the middle class.  By democrats own definition of “rich”  they are.  So what do they know about your plight?

    The keys to Gracie Mansion are more important than shielding their son from having an archive of tawdry information available for his reading displeasure.  That tells you everything you need to know about both of these people.

    Huma, the put upon wife, has enabled her husband’s behavior.  She is not worthy of any sympathy.  Any and all pain he brings into her life and that of her son falls squarely on her shoulders.  No wonder the founding fathers warned us of the perils of power.

    • peregrinerose 12:28 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

      I actually am glad that this story is out there. Maybe it will get some actual information about sex addiction out there. You are right, he does have deep psychiatric issues. At what point does a woman leave a man that is sick? My husband broke his back a year ago, should I have left him? My husband is a sex addict fighting to heal, should I leave him? If only the answer was a simple one. Read my blog or those of countless other spouses, former spouses, and family members of sex addicts. It’s not easy. Over 80% of these guys have a history of being sexually abused, often in very dramatic ways, lasting years. They didn’t get broken all by themselves. They had help along the way. My husband has been a full blown sex addict since age 7 or 8. Yes. Pre-pubescent.

      Saying she is ‘not worthy of sympathy’? That seems harsh. First, I don’t believe she has asked for sympathy from anyone, much less random bloggers. Second, running from the marriage will not solve her problems (the deep pain of betrayal is still there, the jaded outlook on humanity is still there, the battering to the self worth is still there), nor those of her son (the press is still there, the reality of his father being a sex addict is still there). If only leaving would ease the pain and solve the problem. Third, virtually all therapists state directly to the spouses of sex addicts not to make any decisions for 1-2 years following disclosure. They tell us to stay in the marriage for that amount of time to give ourselves the opportunity to heal and to observe the progress (or lack thereof) of our partners before making final decisions.

      • just a conservative girl 1:53 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

        Boy you have so missed the point. His marriage is between he and his wife. Being an elected official when you have these type of problems is a matter of public interest and does say something about character. Huma has put her own ambition before the well being of the people of New York. That deserves no sympathy. She is now is enabling his behavior.

        • peregrinerose 1:54 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

          You must know her personally then? I have no idea what her motivations are to stay or what her personal ambitions are. I’m not qualified to have an opinion on that one since I don’t know anything about her other than what is in the news.

          • just a conservative girl 2:01 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

            Do you want your child, if you have any, to read newspaper reports about your husband’s activities? Would you want them to be able to access photos of his penis that were sent to young women? This is about holding public office, not the illness. Obviously you are unable to see the difference. She has been around the block enough to know that this would come out. She put herself in the position that her son would access this information one day. The internet is forever. She is asking people to trust a man who obviously has mental health problem and lies as easily as most change their socks. She is not a victim of the press she is receiving. She did this to herself.

            • peregrinerose 2:12 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

              Her son was conceived before (as far as the public timeline shows) she knew of his sexual transgressions, so short of aborting or adopting him out, there’s no way to prevent him from learning of his fathers’ issues on a public forum eventually. That particular horse was long out of the barn.

              It’s impossible to separate the career from the spouse from the ambition from the personal life and a host of other facets that make us all up. Being in her situation is an insanely difficult balancing act. I hope you are never confronted with those kinds of decisions to make, where your entire life is dumped on it’s head and you don’t know where to even begin to make sense of it. My guess is she’s just like almost every other person on the planet, trying to make the best choices she can with the information she has in the moment. If only life was simple, uni-planar….

              I don’t recall her asking for sympathy or portraying herself as a victim, but again, I don’t know her. Maybe in your personal conversations with her, you have other insight.

              • just a conservative girl 2:24 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

                The only job he can get is holding public office? Again, this about the public trust. No one is saying he shouldn’t be able to work again, but that doesn’t mean it has to be elected office. He has a law degree. Making decisions that will affect 8 million people who happen to live in New York City, not all of which will vote for him, is totally another.

                And by the way, yes I have met both of them.

                What about elected office don’t you understand? It is a honor to hold elected office, one that comes with a great deal of responsibility. Those responsibilites should be taken seriously.

                If she didn’t want to protray herself as a victim she shouldn’t have said in her press conferences that this is happening to them. Those photos were released because they made the choice to run for office. No one did that to them. By standing up and talking about it she is an active participant in that choice.

                He doesn’t deserve the honor of holding office of mayor to the nations’ largest city.

                • peregrinerose 2:59 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

                  Then don’t vote for him. Seems quite easy to me. If he doesn’t deserve public office, he shouldn’t get voted in.

                  Many jobs are an honor. Public office is no exception.

                  Has she stated that her choice to stay wasn’t her choice? Or that her choice to support him running wasn’t his choice? Or that his acting out wasn’t his choice? I haven’t heard anything along those lines, but maybe your personal conversations with them reflect something different. Now that would be an interesting blog… your conversations with them about his issues and her response to them.

                  We all make our choices, we all live with the consequences. I guess a blogger with a vendetta of throwing stones of judgement ranting about you is one of those consequences. Personally, I prefer to try to understand other people than judge them. But hey, each to their own.

                  • just a conservative girl 3:38 PM on 07/24/2013 Permalink | Reply

                    You are exactly the type of voter that has allowed this country to get where it is, a mess. People shouldn’t feel that they can hold public office after such behavior. He has publically humilated his wife and child. He cares nothing for the people of New York. That should matter. It is about power and prestige. The arrogrance is stunning and your excuse making for it is as well.

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